Why do people have it if other people just take it and shit on it. Why. Why am I a victim to this, but why am I also guilty of this.
Fuck. I can’t sleep. It feels like those endless nights I spent days in a row 3 months ago.
I just want to sleep.
Directed at anyone or not, I just gottaletitoutbitches.
You know, it didn’t hit me til today the amount of relief I have been granted. Yesterday I was just happy but today, idk. I really am thankful and overwhelmingly blessed. Tests results were NEGATIVE for any immune disease they tested for 🙌 praise The Lord. I’ve realized how much he really loves us. Despite my prayer life being pretty bad and all this sin and worry I’ve been putting myself through, God STILL provides and gives. He really loves us. It’s just so crazy to me everything that’s happened since this school year has started. Everything is falling into place. God is taking care of me and He’s got my life in his hands. Nothing can destroy me. I’m still learning and this is still a healing process, but I’m seeing it. I’m getting it.
I love everyone. Now if I could just get my tummy ache to go away that’d be greeaatttt
idk what to say. im honestly speechless right now. i usually have shit to say about what i’m feeling but right now, idk. its like God gave me a platter of problems and covered it with a papertowel.
whether i know what to say or not, i just gottaletitoutbitches ;)
Dang yo my life fcking sucks right now. I wish I had time and the strength to write about it, but I’m bored at work soooo here I go.1. So I broke up with who I thought was the love of my life. I guess I’m just not ready for a relationship with him. Or anyone for that matter. I loved c with everything I had but I just wasn’t growing anymore. I wasn’t getting any better in my faith. It wasn’t fair. He was so happy and had everything set for him but what about me? Was I just supposed to suck it up for months and not say anything? That’s what I did. Idk what to do. I want to try and be with k but idk. We all need healing and time. Lots and lots of time.
2. Lola Onding almost passed away. She’s at a rehab center now cause of all the medications she’s taking but it still scares me. She’s crazy as hell though. Made it through her stroke after living 97 years on this earth.
3. What is morphea and psoriasis and why do I have it and why does it keep coming back. I don’t know. I’m scared that I have an auto immune condition and I’m afraid of what the results will bring. I’m scared of more tests and I’m scared my immune system isn’t up to par. I’m so scared that my stress is causing my psoriasis to be worse. I’m also so scared that my psoriasis is causing so much hair loss on my head. Like wtf, now what do I do. Idk. I keep praying and praying but this evil thing called worry is in the back of my mind constantly telling me my life is gonna get cut short.4. So I didn’t get into nursing school. To the two schools I applied to, I didn’t get in. Woo. When I found out, I was so numb I didn’t even think about it. I didn’t even cry about it til last night. I weeped. Shoutout to k for listening to me and falling asleep while I cried hahaha I feel worthless and I’m obviously not good enough. Even my friend made it in with her first try. I can’t ever be good enough and I can’t ever make my parents proud and I can’t even talk to anyone about this. Everyone prayed for me and counted on me to get in. What do I say to thm now? “Sorry my grades suck and I’m not good enough”
5. Addition to the last one. But idk. This is separate for me. I’m thinking of switching majors. Another woo. I’m finally gonna fulfill my dream of becoming a math teacher haha as exciting as it is and as stressed as I am. Idk. I want it, but I also want nursing. But teaching has been my lifelong dream since I was in elementary school. Life sucks. Idk what else to say. Good or bad (I’ve prob used that before. But idgaf) you just gottaletitoutbitches :)
why is this happening to me.
Just remembered, this new layout I have and these colors are what I had on my first ever tumblr. Back when I had an innocent blog and I rebogged everything.
can both of you just be ugly and mean and have a girly voice and not be such good dancers so i can move on already?
It’s weird. Reading through my blogs from last year to now. So much has happened but the only thing i can think of is how much better my writing has gotten. Haha WOO
Short and sweet, you just gottaletitoutbitches ;)
Talk to the hand✋
dont know if i like the gray. might change it. kool